I wanna passion pit in your ass
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
