super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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