I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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