Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
