I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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