I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
