Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
