it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
