The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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