i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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