it hurts more in the daytime
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
and she was petting her beer can
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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