He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
