I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
