I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Ketchup is God's man juice
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
