Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
