Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
did you just send me my own nude
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
