hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He felt like a one man threesome
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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