I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
