Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
