What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
