My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
