I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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