did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
