Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
