it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
