My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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