Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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