Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
