I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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