Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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