K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
