You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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