It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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