It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
