yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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