I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
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