bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I smell stomach acid.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
