I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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