she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
