Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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