Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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