I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
