I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize