just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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