i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize