You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
