i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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