if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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