Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
