lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Congratulations! We have a period
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
