He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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