all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
