The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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