How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
