His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
