marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
