Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
