I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
