My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
