I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
